I can't actually believe I am writing something about Facebook. Does that make me a next level geek? Least I'm not a "Trekkie", I'll just say that much.
Facebook.
I heard on the other day that one in thirteen people of the Earths entire population have a facebook account. Its hard to imagine broadband in the mudhuts of the borneo jungle, but hey, Tom Cruise likes jumping on couches.
Crazy stuff is like watching a dog walk on its hind legs.
Stalkers.
They arent just 40 year old construction workers in the deepest darkest corners of the internet doing the dodgy uncle. They've expanded tent pegs and now include your co-workers, friends and family. Even dear Peggy the homeleague leader.
Facebook and Stalking.
How do these combine? Well, when you think of facebook, its about interacting and networking with others.
You post photos, videos, comments, updates and all other kinds of bits and bobs. Its all on there for display, so how is it considered stalking when the information has been posted intending for you or someone else to read it? Its a fine line.
When you find yourself reading "Wall to wall" threads, when you're constantly clicking on to ones page and fumbling through files, messages, information and photos, you've stumbled into grey territory. You're in certain stalker domain if you actually arent "friends" with someone like an ex but you are partial to clicking on to their page, scouting their friends to see what kind of interraction they are having with others.
You need to become a resident on Shutter Island if you actually try breaking in to someones account to get information or to get to someone elses profile. A resident in creepy "C" block.
I'm pretty sure I fall into Stalkee category.
I've had my suspicions for a while, but it all came to a head last week when I stumbled across a certain post. I put two and two together and brought back to the forefront of my mind all the other things I had been in denial about regarding the suspected stalker. Stuff Stevie Wonder would be able to see and deem for me as legit stalkee status.
What do you do?
If the person has been a friend and considers themself a huge part in your life, how do you just "defriend" them?
If things are civil between you, but for eons you have bitten your tongue in private to save hurt feelings over the fact that they are just grating you with an industrial strength grater?
When you see them again on the street? Awkward..
These are all questions I've pondered. Sandpaper ministry I've said, but now I'm accepting it really is more of the razor blade kind.
I'd thought long and hard about the whole thing one night during the ads of Ace of Cakes, and remembered I had someone that I'd considered as a friend "defriend" me. I wasnt hurt I was just shocked as to why, which was for no apparent reason.
I thought about it more and actually began to understand. How often had we interracted? the answer was not often. Facebook to that person is about connecting with people who were more than just an acquaintance or even someone that they hung out with on a rare occasion. It was to do with people that they interracted with on an almost daily basis.
Facebook to me at one point was about getting back into contact with all those old friends from back in the day, all those new ones from today - but now its at the point where there are only so many updates I can read about gettin on "it", doing the walk of shame and how depressing life is without wishing I'd decided to crawl over lego and live an Amish lifestyle in favour over logging on.
So now I'm standing at the great triangled divide of facebookdom. Do I get trigger happy and do a proper "friend" cleanse? Do I delete my account and start again? or Do I keep all, bite my tongue, close my eyes and get intimate with the "Hide" button?
If its just about skimming out all the ones you dont really interract with, the ones that are abrasive, the ones you just dont want to read up on, the ones that you just plainly dont have anything in common with - how do you do it without it becoming something personal?
Maybe this can be a question I can take to God when I ask Him to solve a Rubiks cube without looking when its my time to be promoted to glory.
You have a stalker too?
Find out to which degree...
THE FACEBOOK STALKEE QUIZ
-Find out which level of Stalker has taken you as his/her fancy-
* The suspect "like"s and comments on everything you do + 1pt
* The suspect carbon copies your status updates - bar a few words here and there to make them seem legit + 2pts
*You set yourself personal goals online, all of a sudden theyve been hijacked and claimed as the suspects own + 3pts
* Their "Friends" list mirrors your own, even Aunt Phyllis in Egypt, the one you only met once. +2pts
* If you appear to be getting chummy with someone, all of a sudden the suspect is making desperate attempts to be in on the deal. +3pts
* When you see the suspect in person, they might bring up in conversation a fact you had mentioned to someone else in a wallpost, but so blaze' like as though you had told them yourself. Obviously a slipup on their part. An amateurs mistake. +4pts
RESULTS:
0-5 points
THE RASH LEVEL: Restraining order may be applicable. Or at least hit the "Hide" button.
6-10 points
THE INFECTION LEVEL: Feel that slight breeze down your neck? I dare you to turn around and see where its coming from... "Defriending" antics apply here.
11-15 points
GANGRENE LEVEL: MR STABBY ALERT! You could possibly wake up to find your stalker wearing your skin. Delete your account. Move to the Alaskan wilderness.
What would you do?
Give a Sista some advice!
xo
♦ cause things are still beautiful 2nd time around ♦
