Monday, July 26, 2010

Having a rant: Facebook and Stalking

I can't actually believe I am writing something about Facebook. Does that make me a next level geek? Least I'm not a "Trekkie", I'll just say that much.

Facebook.
I heard on the other day that one in thirteen people of the Earths entire population have a facebook account. Its hard to imagine broadband in the mudhuts of the borneo jungle, but hey, Tom Cruise likes jumping on couches.
Crazy stuff is like watching a dog walk on its hind legs.

Stalkers.
They arent just 40 year old construction workers in the deepest darkest corners of the internet doing the dodgy uncle. They've expanded tent pegs and now include your co-workers, friends and family. Even dear Peggy the homeleague leader.

Facebook and Stalking.
How do these combine? Well, when you think of facebook, its about interacting and networking with others.
You post photos, videos, comments, updates and all other kinds of bits and bobs. Its all on there for display, so how is it considered stalking when the information has been posted intending for you or someone else to read it? Its a fine line.
When you find yourself reading "Wall to wall" threads, when you're constantly clicking on to ones page and fumbling through files, messages, information and photos, you've stumbled into grey territory. You're in certain stalker domain if you actually arent "friends" with someone like an ex but you are partial to clicking on to their page, scouting their friends to see what kind of interraction they are having with others.
You need to become a resident on Shutter Island if you actually try breaking in to someones account to get information or to get to someone elses profile. A resident in creepy "C" block.

I'm pretty sure I fall into Stalkee category.

I've had my suspicions for a while, but it all came to a head last week when I stumbled across a certain post. I put two and two together and brought back to the forefront of my mind all the other things I had been in denial about regarding the suspected stalker. Stuff Stevie Wonder would be able to see and deem for me as legit stalkee status.

What do you do?

  • If the person has been a friend and considers themself a huge part in your life, how do you just "defriend" them?
  • If things are civil between you, but for eons you have bitten your tongue in private to save hurt feelings over the fact that they are just grating you with an industrial strength grater?
  • When you see them again on the street? Awkward..

These are all questions I've pondered. Sandpaper ministry I've said, but now I'm accepting it really is more of the razor blade kind.


I'd thought long and hard about the whole thing one night during the ads of Ace of Cakes, and remembered I had someone that I'd considered as a friend "defriend" me. I wasnt hurt I was just shocked as to why, which was for no apparent reason.
I thought about it more and actually began to understand. How often had we interracted? the answer was not often. Facebook to that person is about connecting with people who were more than just an acquaintance or even someone that they hung out with on a rare occasion. It was to do with people that they interracted with on an almost daily basis.
Facebook to me at one point was about getting back into contact with all those old friends from back in the day, all those new ones from today - but now its at the point where there are only so many updates I can read about gettin on "it", doing the walk of shame and how depressing life is without wishing I'd decided to crawl over lego and live an Amish lifestyle in favour over logging on.


So now I'm standing at the great triangled divide of facebookdom. Do I get trigger happy and do a proper "friend" cleanse? Do I delete my account and start again? or Do I keep all, bite my tongue, close my eyes and get intimate with the "Hide" button?


If its just about skimming out all the ones you dont really interract with, the ones that are abrasive, the ones you just dont want to read up on, the ones that you just plainly dont have anything in common with - how do you do it without it becoming something personal?
Maybe this can be a question I can take to God when I ask Him to solve a Rubiks cube without looking when its my time to be promoted to glory.

You have a stalker too?
Find out to which degree...


THE FACEBOOK STALKEE QUIZ
-Find out which level of Stalker has taken you as his/her fancy-

* The suspect "like"s and comments on everything you do + 1pt
* The suspect carbon copies your status updates - bar a few words here and there to make them seem legit + 2pts
*You set yourself personal goals online, all of a sudden theyve been hijacked and claimed as the suspects own + 3pts
* Their "Friends" list mirrors your own, even Aunt Phyllis in Egypt, the one you only met once. +2pts
* If you appear to be getting chummy with someone, all of a sudden the suspect is making desperate attempts to be in on the deal. +3pts
* When you see the suspect in person, they might bring up in conversation a fact you had mentioned to someone else in a wallpost, but so blaze' like as though you had told them yourself. Obviously a slipup on their part. An amateurs mistake. +4pts

RESULTS:
0-5 points

THE RASH LEVEL: Restraining order may be applicable. Or at least hit the "Hide" button.
6-10 points
THE INFECTION LEVEL: Feel that slight breeze down your neck? I dare you to turn around and see where its coming from... "Defriending" antics apply here.
11-15 points
GANGRENE LEVEL: MR STABBY ALERT! You could possibly wake up to find your stalker wearing your skin. Delete your account. Move to the Alaskan wilderness.

What would you do?
Give a Sista some advice!

xo


♦ cause things are still beautiful 2nd time around ♦

6 comments:

  1. I have to say, this is one of the best Facebook posts I've read. And I've read a few!

    Facebook for me was initially about connections... now it's just a bit of fluff and fun. I hold it lightly - so when I get defriended I just think it's their problem, not mine :) There was one I followed up on.... but that was a tricky one.

    I have a few friend requests that I'm not sure how to respond to... so they just sit there... but I did do a cleanse.. and I also did a grouping. There are some people that yeah, I really don't think I want seeing all things... and if they are not happy with me doing that, then, oh well.

    Facebook - fun, but time waster!

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  2. Thanks Gail!!
    Yeah such a good idea to hold it lightly...
    Im with you on not knowing what to do about certain friend requests too... i mean ive had people add me that were just big meanies to me or someone I love in the past, but for them i guess facebook is about adding EVERYONE they know as opposed to adding those you actually have a relationship with.
    I didnt know you could group people? I'll have to suss that one out.
    Ive done a few cleanses, but not deep cleansing, like the ones I REALLY want to sift out, and its purely cause I know it will be taken personal :S
    Haha such a time waster alright!
    xo

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  3. Woah! Scary! I think if we are on Facebook, we are giving everyone and anyone permission to look into our lives. If we don't like it, we can do one of the things you suggested, or not go on FB at all, or choose very carefully what we share. You do know it's cos you're so cool that people want to stalk you aye chick? Love ya. (Not in a stalking kinda way!)

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  4. my rellies are stalkers lol but don't really mind hahaha yeah it is a bit scary. i tightened my security and don't post things i wouldn't be comfortable with everyone knowing. great post xo

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  5. So true Tall Pipi - we are giving anyone permission to look into our lives. Hahaha thanks for that, so glad its not in a stalking kinda way hahaha

    Lol Rach, yeah Ive got really tight security settings now. My biggest problem is I have heaps of friends that knew the "old" me - the one that was a teenager so unfortunately because they dont know the "new or more mature" me, they dont understand that I dont want to be associated with old stories and such... I mean, I dont care about people knowing my past, I have a problem with people thinking its what Im like NOW though.
    Thanks for ur comments!!
    xo

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  6. fair call :) so know what you mean!!

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