Monday, July 26, 2010

Having a rant: Facebook and Stalking

I can't actually believe I am writing something about Facebook. Does that make me a next level geek? Least I'm not a "Trekkie", I'll just say that much.

I heard on the other day that one in thirteen people of the Earths entire population have a facebook account. Its hard to imagine broadband in the mudhuts of the borneo jungle, but hey, Tom Cruise likes jumping on couches.
Crazy stuff is like watching a dog walk on its hind legs.

They arent just 40 year old construction workers in the deepest darkest corners of the internet doing the dodgy uncle. They've expanded tent pegs and now include your co-workers, friends and family. Even dear Peggy the homeleague leader.

Facebook and Stalking.
How do these combine? Well, when you think of facebook, its about interacting and networking with others.
You post photos, videos, comments, updates and all other kinds of bits and bobs. Its all on there for display, so how is it considered stalking when the information has been posted intending for you or someone else to read it? Its a fine line.
When you find yourself reading "Wall to wall" threads, when you're constantly clicking on to ones page and fumbling through files, messages, information and photos, you've stumbled into grey territory. You're in certain stalker domain if you actually arent "friends" with someone like an ex but you are partial to clicking on to their page, scouting their friends to see what kind of interraction they are having with others.
You need to become a resident on Shutter Island if you actually try breaking in to someones account to get information or to get to someone elses profile. A resident in creepy "C" block.

I'm pretty sure I fall into Stalkee category.

I've had my suspicions for a while, but it all came to a head last week when I stumbled across a certain post. I put two and two together and brought back to the forefront of my mind all the other things I had been in denial about regarding the suspected stalker. Stuff Stevie Wonder would be able to see and deem for me as legit stalkee status.

What do you do?

  • If the person has been a friend and considers themself a huge part in your life, how do you just "defriend" them?
  • If things are civil between you, but for eons you have bitten your tongue in private to save hurt feelings over the fact that they are just grating you with an industrial strength grater?
  • When you see them again on the street? Awkward..

These are all questions I've pondered. Sandpaper ministry I've said, but now I'm accepting it really is more of the razor blade kind.

I'd thought long and hard about the whole thing one night during the ads of Ace of Cakes, and remembered I had someone that I'd considered as a friend "defriend" me. I wasnt hurt I was just shocked as to why, which was for no apparent reason.
I thought about it more and actually began to understand. How often had we interracted? the answer was not often. Facebook to that person is about connecting with people who were more than just an acquaintance or even someone that they hung out with on a rare occasion. It was to do with people that they interracted with on an almost daily basis.
Facebook to me at one point was about getting back into contact with all those old friends from back in the day, all those new ones from today - but now its at the point where there are only so many updates I can read about gettin on "it", doing the walk of shame and how depressing life is without wishing I'd decided to crawl over lego and live an Amish lifestyle in favour over logging on.

So now I'm standing at the great triangled divide of facebookdom. Do I get trigger happy and do a proper "friend" cleanse? Do I delete my account and start again? or Do I keep all, bite my tongue, close my eyes and get intimate with the "Hide" button?

If its just about skimming out all the ones you dont really interract with, the ones that are abrasive, the ones you just dont want to read up on, the ones that you just plainly dont have anything in common with - how do you do it without it becoming something personal?
Maybe this can be a question I can take to God when I ask Him to solve a Rubiks cube without looking when its my time to be promoted to glory.

You have a stalker too?
Find out to which degree...

-Find out which level of Stalker has taken you as his/her fancy-

* The suspect "like"s and comments on everything you do + 1pt
* The suspect carbon copies your status updates - bar a few words here and there to make them seem legit + 2pts
*You set yourself personal goals online, all of a sudden theyve been hijacked and claimed as the suspects own + 3pts
* Their "Friends" list mirrors your own, even Aunt Phyllis in Egypt, the one you only met once. +2pts
* If you appear to be getting chummy with someone, all of a sudden the suspect is making desperate attempts to be in on the deal. +3pts
* When you see the suspect in person, they might bring up in conversation a fact you had mentioned to someone else in a wallpost, but so blaze' like as though you had told them yourself. Obviously a slipup on their part. An amateurs mistake. +4pts

0-5 points

THE RASH LEVEL: Restraining order may be applicable. Or at least hit the "Hide" button.
6-10 points
THE INFECTION LEVEL: Feel that slight breeze down your neck? I dare you to turn around and see where its coming from... "Defriending" antics apply here.
11-15 points
GANGRENE LEVEL: MR STABBY ALERT! You could possibly wake up to find your stalker wearing your skin. Delete your account. Move to the Alaskan wilderness.

What would you do?
Give a Sista some advice!


♦ cause things are still beautiful 2nd time around ♦

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Pocketful of L♥ves

Hello Beauty,

This weeks pocketful of l♥ves in no particular order are:

♥ Pretty scenery on my farm walks

♥ Mr Gadget and his Daughter having moments like these...
♥ Tea parties

♥ Love letters randomly deposited for me to find

♥ Journal loving with water paints

♥ Journal loving about wild dreams

♥ Snack Food Sundays and home made caramel popcorn

♥ Miss Laurie meeting her Grandad for the first time

Record player L♥ve

♥ "Heartbreak Warfare" - John Mayer
♥ "Midnight train to Georgia" - Gladys Knight
♥ "Dreams" - Fleetwood Mac
♥ "If you don't know me by now" - Simply Red
♥ "Dog days are gone" - Florence and the Machine
♥ "America" - Simon and Garfunkel
♥ "Rubber and Soul" - Ane Brun ft. Teitur

The World can be pretty daunting at times, I hope you take the time to remember and really "be in the moment" of the simple but lovely things this week :)


♦ cause things are still beautiful 2nd time around ♦

Saturday, July 10, 2010

The Saturday Salute means Betty's wagon of thrifty loot

The Saturday Salute
this week, means Thrifty finds...

Oak bedside table for Miss Lauries room:
Loves it.

Typewriter serving as an unconventional centrepiece for the table:

So many people I know HATE fake flowers. I love em. When used properly.
I mean I wouldn't love them for valentines day.
I would love a Chandelier though.
Jar, filled with my "not in use" pearl necklaces supporting a bouquet of fake flowers:
Jar: $2
Flowers: $1 each

Some charming "Pimpernel" coasters with Australian Fauna artwork on them. (Next to the jar)
Coasters: $2

Herb garden stakes:
$1.20 each

AMAZING makes-my-heart-flutter retro wallpaper that I used as a backdrop for a 1 Corintians 13 scripture ripped out of an old book for Miss Lauries room.
Wallpaper: $2 for the roll.

These genuinely old school spotty glasses:
$1 each!!
You drop em and they DON'T BREAK!
But thats stuff from the old school for ya.
Unless you drop them together.
Or if you put a hammer to them.
Or perhaps if you drop them off a bridge onto the freeway.
Paper lanterns for Miss Lauries room:
$1 each
Patchwork quilt $5

Who needs new stuff when old stuff can be so much more you, and better, and cheaper, and can last so much longer.
Hope your Saturday was a delight.
Sometimes it takes a change in perspective to realise it was so...

♦ cause things are still beautiful 2nd time around ♦

Thursday, July 8, 2010

An open letter to the man that could have destroyed my life

To the man that could have destroyed my life.

For fourteen years I have wondered what last Wednesday would feel like. The day I would see you again.
I saw you in a pub at midday on a Wednesday, at least I have the excuse that I was having lunch.

In you walked, up the ramp past my table and up to the bar.
I sat there staring at the back of your head, you actually cut off your mullett.... congratulations.
My Mum returned from the ladies room, watching her, my beautiful mother in ruby, looking every bit the confident, strong and protective nurturer - adorned in the spiritual crown of Kings and Queens, lace her way back into the room - I cannot believe this same woman stole us away from your hands. She picked us up, sheltered us in her wings and nabbed us from the story you only ever hear about through a friend of a friend.

I hate what you did to my widowed mother. I hate what you did to my brother that was grieving for his father. I hate what you did to the 7, 8, 9, 10 year old me. Back then, only you knew it was wrong. Today I'm a woman, now we both know it was wrong. You should be ashamed.

You don't owe me a sorry, you owe my step father a thank you. He picked up those terrible broken pieces of our lives and put them back together. It has been hard for him to go through our pain, to reteach us what love actually is and to show us what to expect in Husbands and Fathers. If it werent for him, the man of God he is, I could have let you destroy my life by living in unforgiveness, hate and anger. Who knows what that might have meant for you this last time I saw you.

I hold my head high today, no longer does the sound of a slamming microwave send my heart into overdrive and fear. No longer are you the huge man that could squash the biggest of men. You were small. You were nothing special. Obviously someone with little man syndrome.

You know that we saw you and you should know that it felt good walking up to the counter next to you, to feel you look at me and recognise me. It felt good interrupting to address our mutual friend that you were talking to, only to say bye to her, and making it obvious we wanted no part of the past. Cause that is all you are.
The past.

For God so loved the world, He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life - John 3:16

You dont deserve name suppression, but I dont deserve what Christ did on the cross for me. I believe in the God of second chances, the God that forgives those who ask.

I forgive you.
I forgive you for what you did to my widowed mother. I forgive you for what you did to my brother grieving for his father. I forgive you for what you did to the 7, 8, 9, 10 year old me.

I've chosen to let go of you. Dont try to get my attention again if you run into me for a second time. You are the end of a sad chapter in my story... a chapter that has closed and that has taught me alot. Thank you for showing me what not to expect in a Man and a Father.
That is one good thing I can take from you.

I pray that you don't get what you deserve, but that you have a true revelation of heart.
That you see that it was someones Mother you beat, that it was someones brother you belittled, that it was someones daughter you almost destroyed. And that you stop drinking on a Wednesday lunchtime.

From the Author and Creator of "cause things are still beautiful 2nd time around" ... cause they truely are.

Treehouse Tuesday

By jolly jumbos,

The last two days have been tougher than a $2 steak. So this post is for Tuesday.
My placid, perfect, voice box on mute baby has turned into the female version of Ty Pennington and Ryan Seacrest combined. With PMS.
I think it could be the thing they call teething, but more likely she has realised I've got a new laptop so is experimenting with tantrums that are of manipulating roots. Babies are so smart, I swear. When you're not looking they're they're giving the middle finger curtosy and delving in the stockmarket.
You are none the wiser cause they're just so cute.
I'm looking right through you and those eyes like the ocean Miss Laurie...

Anyway, I've managed to finally send a post into the internet stratosphere, and even worked out how to use the webcam... and so did Mr Gadget...

Oscar worthy performances. Almost the same caliber of LiLo in court the other day. Almost.

If you go down to the woods today.... you might find a treehouse

Oh and I prematurely ripped up some carrots. My bad.


Polkadot dress - glassons

Sequinned top - vintage

Cardi - thrift

Scarf - thrift

Black opaque stockings - farmers

Black shoes - vintage

Polaroid Camera - vintage

Well, happy Friday for tomorrow, tell your Mum you love her and that you appreciate the sacrifices she has made for you through the years. Mums are silent sufferers and deserve the recognition.

L♥ve lots,


♦ cause things are still beautiful 2nd time around ♦

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Combination fried weekend: Saturday Salute & Snack Food Sunday combined

The Saturday Salute:

Hello Starshine...
So... the week just passed has been awesome.
My parents have been living in Australia for the past 12 years, and have finally packed their bindle sticks and thumbed a ride back to the mother land.... permanently!
So I've been catching up on 5 years of being apart and making up for it all in cram sessions.
My little Mama (little cause she is 5"1 and I'm 5"8) and I have been doing what else but spending up a Vintage storm, and on HER dime! Eee!

Miss Laurie and I have been on the go for 5 days now and it has definitely taken its toll, I had planned to take part in Morefm's "Bride Day Friday" where you dust off your wedding frock and give it another day of use with the bonus of being in to win a trip to Honolulu for a second honeymoon - but got hit hard with a cold and swollen glands, so that definitely takes a back seat for now - its too late for the competition BUT not too late to give my dress another whirl.
I'll keep you posted on that one.

My Saturday was spent with family for the most part and then at home cozied up with
"Planet 51", "Alice in Wonderland", sleeping bags and heaters.
My ideal.

♥ Soul food... vege stirfry nom nom nom

♥ I received a cute wedding invite from my cousin - the brown paper made my heart palpitate



♥ Just gorgeous

Snack Food Sunday:

Miss Laurie did as she was told and slept till 7am - Mr Gadget allowed me to sleep in, so I awoke to the smell of a Cheese and Ham Omelette, freshly brewed Coffee and "Julie and Julia" rearing to go in the DVD player.... I ♥ that movie.

Here's what was on offer for the rest of the day:

Mr Gadget took Miss Laurie away on an escapade to give me some time to myself (awww), and here's what I did.... I took a photo of what's in my bag (as you do):

Main notable contents:

  • Two Journals
  • Small book of Psalms and Proverbs
  • Smiggle pencil
  • Favourite pen
  • Loreal colour riche 862 lipstick
  • Maybelline wet diamonds Marquise Peach lipgloss
  • Revlon Craving Coral nail polish
  • Moxie tin to store vitamins
  • Bing Crosby Cassette tape - yup cassette... I roll with the nerd herd
  • A pamphlet of all the best thirft stores in Auckland
  • Geek chic hector spectors
  • Random lists of things I need to keep an eye out for while scouting thrift stores

Anyway - my computer was constipated over the weekend so Mr Gadget ended up coming home last night with an amazing surprise for me - a brand spanking new laptop fully loaded with PHOTOSHOP! III KNOOOW!

I intended for this post to be WAY more interesting but Miss Laurie, as I'm typing is screaming the foundations down, *sigh* you know how it is.....

Here's to dreaming of a whimsical encounter today and hoping my glands shrink in size ... fingers crossed


♦ cause things are still beautiful 2nd time around ♦

Friday, July 2, 2010

2010: the year of organisation and discipline

Gosh when I write you down 2010, you look so futuristic and daunting.
It was only your second month in that my life changed inside and out with the arrival of our sweet Miss Laurie, and it was only six weeks after that I was glazed over watching Ellen Degeneres do that awkward thing over the coffee table when out of nowhere, I had a revelation that I don't want to spend my twenties worried about fitting my post baby chubb into my favourite pair of jeans, or about what bits need to be tucked in and which tops consealed it all best.
After I put the Tim Tam down - I found a God given determination to make a complete lifestyle change of losing the "inbetweens" (being inbetween sizes) and just focus on living, being happy, being healthy, being a great Wife and raising my baby with a clear idea of where I want to be in life and a real knowing of who I am. Overweight isn't who I am.
So 2010, we're officially in your second half - a truckload of hardwork and discipline brings me 13.5kgs into my 18kg goal, and I've armed myself with a new determination to continue our lifestyle upheaval with new ideas, heights and rewards.
Rabbit food and being sugarfree doesn't suck as much as sucky sucks anymore - but seeing how far we - Mr Gadget and I - the Oscar worthy procrastinators have come, recharges me to finish you off 2010... and with a bang.
So, with a cold and a teething four month old, here I am, bringing my home a step closer to the more organised, creative and clutterfree ideal I'm trying to mirror in lifestyle.
One dressing table at a time.

Here's to you realising and reaching your goals in your second leg of 2010.
It's you who decides who you are, who you want to be...
and it's only you that can make it happen.
Air Kisses and Love Letters always,

♦ cause things are still beautiful 2nd time around ♦