Friday, October 15, 2010

Dear Miss Laurie - October 2010

Dear Miss Laurie,

You are a day away from being 8 months old.
You have two fully established teeth and three more coming through up top.
(Maybe you could give your Poppa some cause his ones these days cost money to get.)
You're growing and developing so quickly that just in ONE day you did THREE new things!

1. You noticed for the first time my change in voice when I tried to growl you. You stared at me and then broke into this heartbreaking cry. I swear I'm not delighting in your sadness, but Mama is just so proud!

2. You can't work out how to crawl just yet but you pushed your little bum all the way across the bed backwards the other day... that still counts, just like if a Taxi drove backwards they'd owe YOU money.

3. I've retreated from trying to get your first words to be either "Gerard Butler" or "Floccinaucinihilipilification" and settle for something a bit closer to the hand that feeds you like, "Mama" or "Papa". We tried on "Mama" for size the other day, your little eyes were watching my lips SO intently and even mimicked the action with yours - you couldn't quite get that you actually had to make sound to make the noise so got all frustrated and with a big rush of a sigh you came out with "Wha-woll". You little genius.

You're a master of rolling onto your tummy - especially when I'm trying to get that muddy nappy off you. Everytime I go through the motions of trying to get you out of that Huggie prison you get into hysterics like I'm trying to force feed codliver oil to you or something.
Your face goes purple, two little veins throb to the side of your forehead and you burst the odd capillary in the eye. I AM NOT EVEN KIDDING. I'm exaggerating, but that's different.

You also throw yourself at any given opportunity. You're sitting on my lap watching TV, you spot the remote on the ground and decide you must have it in your possession. So you end up throwing yourself toward it. The trust that you have thinking nothing bad at all is going to come out of that decision is amazing.

I just hope it isn't the beginning of a love of risking death for the thrill of it.
Next you're going to figure out how to run under tables. Then you're going to steal the car and try to set your farts on fire with the cigarette lighter.
But I could be just looking too far into it.


Like I mentioned earlier, your development is happening so rapidly before my eyes... it awakens me to the fact that I'm a breath away of being in my *gulp* mid-twenties. Then I hear that it's apparently all downhill from there.
That suits me fine. Downhill's easier than uphill.
Uphill makes me regret that extra helping of Fettucine.
I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and you probably will have a mouthfull of teeth or you'll be six foot tall. I can picture it already... all six feet of you folded up in your little cot. Adorable.

One day you will realise that babies don't actually come from the bottom of the "Weetbix" box and you will also realise there is a time of becoming an adult and a time of BECOMING AN ADULT. Not just biologically or legally but "growing beyond idiocy and ignorance and making decisions adulthood".

I had an experience recently where I made the decision to cut friendships out of my life.
In my eyes I saw no other resolution to a healthier future for those involved, for us and for you.
It's funny how I've always thought I was an adult. I moved out at 18, I owned my first home and got married at 19, I was a mother at 23, and although I'd experienced all these "coming of age" moments in life, it is the decision to cut out friendships recently that I truely felt like I became an adult.
I think that when you can put someone elses needs above your own (like I feel like I did), I think that you step into another area of adulthood.

I'd never realised life was so complicated.
Adulthood is overrated at times.
As children we can't wait to get there.
Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days where I'd be begging Mum to let me eat "that bowl of M&Ms" for breakfast.
Days where decisions and mortgages and planning tomorrows dinner were non-existant.

Your reality right now does not depend on complicated things.
It's having fun with Mama and Papa and eating and sleeping.
I learn so much from you. Like taking time to just sit or to explore or to feel the textures of the grass or the wind on my face. You are so uncomplicated and don't depend on accidently offending someone or judging others on what they look like without makeup on or other shallow things like money and possessions.

I'm an adult now but I'm greatful God's given me the opportunity to experience childhood again through you. You're learning so much through watching me but I'm also learning so much through watching you.

Don't be in a hurry to grow up too soon my baby, you've only got 20 years to be a kid and 40 years plus of being an adult.
There's also this annoying thing called a Period....


♦ cause things are still beautiful 2nd time around ♦

5 comments:

  1. beautifully written....yay for your blogs again.

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  2. yay you're blogging again :) your blogs just inspire and encourage me so much. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow xo much love

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  3. So glad you're writing again! Ive missed your wit! Baby Laurie is so lucky to have you for a Mum! :-)

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  4. Such a lovely age!! Great writing!

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