Dear Miss Laurie - September 2009

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Dear Miss Laurie,

Four days ago, it was your 21st week of swimming in a big liquid pool anniversary.

One day it will be your 21st birthday! *clutches heart in anxiety* and I will be...... *gulp* 44.

44! that is only two years away from my "old" age. It is 46 that I plan to have already come to terms with the fact I can't laugh without needing to pee, that I can't hide the two "Pitman" wrinkles passed down to me from your Koro and that you are already pleading with me to dye my hair to hide the stainless steel silvers.

I'm not freaking out over getting older mind you, I can't wait for each crevice in my hand to have its own story... to reveal the experiences, the loves, the hurts, the wisdom and the goodness of life. The goodness of God.

We had a huge trip to Auckland yesterday as you know, you always know when were going to Auckland cause you get so excited that you try to kick and headbutt your way out of the womb. (The only reason it doesn't work is cause you are not Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops so I don't blame or judge you for not being up to par with his abilities).

The thing I didn't tell you though is that it wasn't a "shopping" expedition.

Sorry to disappoint you. (One day I'm also going to point up into the sky and say "LOOK AT THE PLANE NOT-CHARLOTTE !" pointing up out over the opposite side of the car as your Father sneaks us past "Rainbows End").

One thing you are unaware of right now is you we're going to be a little Sister.

Yesterday we had an adoption meeting but realised your "could've been sister"

(who is actually your third cousin) is going to be better off with her other family.

As much as we would have loved to raise her, we had to put her needs before our own.

So you my baby are going to have to put up with being the firstborn.

I can't wait to teach you how to do laundry.

The reason I started writing this letter is because I wanted to talk to you about boys.

One day your "Boys are gross" filter will unfortunately dissolve into oblivion and you will begin to take notice of their smelly ways.

Your Dad wants you to get married at 77, but you might have to remind him that he married a TEENAGER! ewww.

One thing your Yia Yia taught me is that there are boys that want the girl with the short skirts and small shirts. The one you want is the one that loves you for your purity and your love for God. You don't have to dress less for male attention. You don't want the one that gives attention to you for that.

At this moment in time, it is ridiculously easy to "fall" in the way of purity. It was hard for me. It could even be harder for you. If you do fall, if you do make mistakes, have the courage to admit it.

Get back up.

Deal with the consequences.

Ask for forgiveness.

Learn from it.

Take responsibility.
Always remember, if you do make mistakes, no matter how much pain and regret your decisions may cause, I'm always here to hug you, to understand you, to cry with you, to speak the truth to you. Learn from my mistakes. Learn from others mistakes. Read your Bible. No, actually.

Keeping yourself for your Husband is almost unheard of today.

God wasn't being a killjoy when he put pen to paper about that. But before I get too carried away I will save the more indepth "sex" talk until you start asking me to buy you razors (for your legs, hopefully not your face).

Just incase I haven't put you off completely, here's a list that just might:

• Just because a boy is a Christian, doesn't mean he doesn't have hormones.
• Don't underestimate the "being yourself" approach. It's when you can be yourself in a relationship that you will be happiest. It is what attracted me to your Father.
• Let a boy buy you dinner. Buy him dinner too.
• Don't waste a single Saturday night waiting for "him" to call. It will only hurt you if he doesn't.
• Listen to your head. Don't always rely on your heart.
• Don't always trust your emotions.
• Don't play with his emotions.
• Be honest about your intentions and values. Expect honesty back.
• Don't neglect your friends to keep spending time with him. Have a blooming garden of friends, not just a weed ridden bunch.
• Never force love to be. It will happen if it is supposed to.
• Ask God about His opinion.

Our futures are defined by our choices, not the chances we may take along the way. If you wake up oneday wondering how you got there... you made your bed and lied in it too, so follow your faith, your beliefs, your heart, your passions.

Look at me! being all Motherly with advice and all.

June 10th 2009 was when we saw those two pink lines on that pee stick, your Dad and I got so excited that we almost had to change each other's nappies. It took one failed strip and two positives to convince us to go to the Doctor though... both your Dadand I are Olympic Procrastinators, and regardless of our example, you're going to fight a genetic urge to put things off until they are almost past due. Kapeesh?

September the 5th 2009, I felt your first kick. You obviously knew we were away at your Aunty Lyns beach house having the time of our lives so you wanted to join the action too (Aunty Lyn is actually your third cousin too, she will insist on you just calling her Lynda... but she sooo secretly likes being called Aunty). I didn't feel your next movements until three days later... you let me know you had arrived by booting my poor overly used bladder a couple times. As for now?

GO TO SLEEP!

You have a pattern where you kick three times and stop, so we'll be relaxing on the couch when your Dad is all of a sudden ripped over to my side by the arm as I force his hand to my belly after your first kick. He has only felt you kick once... and he wasn't even sure if it was a kick or if his hand just twitched... it could have been his hand twitching (he IS older than dirt and I'm starting to think he'd like me to start pureeing his steak so he doesn't have to chew it) but we promise not to hold that against you, at least not until you come home with piercings in your face and then WE WILL TOTALLY HOLD IT AGAINST YOU.

Love, Mama.
xo

♦ cause things are still beautiful 2nd time around ♦